


If you love me don’t let go

by MalecRunes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Background Ragnor Fell/Catarina Loss, Breakup, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Malec, Malec Angst, Pain, Pictures, Tears, Upset Malec, post-breakup Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11721123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecRunes/pseuds/MalecRunes
Summary: Post 2x18 with Alec's and Magnus' emotions after their breakup.





	If you love me don’t let go

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I would write about what happened after the Malec breakup (how I imagine it) because the recent episode killed me. I added in Alec looking at pictures because of all the photos on social media with them together. So I added it in for more feels ;) I hope you enjoy!

Alec stood silently as he watched Magnus walk towards the elevator. His heart begged him to move, to do anything to get Magnus’ attention back but he was frozen. His bones were locked in place as he watched the man he loved enter the elevator before turning around to face him, Magnus’ face was blank as the doors shut. Alec could feel his composure slowly fall away but he kept himself from crying out. He wasn’t going to cry. He was a leader who also needed to protect his people and if Magnus didn’t have room for him then why should he. Alec almost laughed bitterly at that. Magnus had told him that he could be a leader and still have what he wanted. Then Magnus had turned those words around and proved him wrong. 

He poked his head back through the door to check on Max to see Izzy reading him a book. Alec smiled softly as he watched, glad his brother was alright. He didn’t know how he would have been able to function if he had died. He left Izzy and Max alone, making a note in his mind to check on him later as he walked towards his office before falling into his chair and unlocking the iPad before diving into unfinished work. 

Magnus let his head fall against the elevators doors once they had closed. He fought to keep his emotions at bay. He wouldn’t allow himself to show any more weakness, at least until he got home then he could drown his sorrows in alcohol. The elevator came to a slow stop before the doors opened and he stood out. Shadowhunters were running around, cleaning weapons, talking while scrolling on computers all trying to track Sebastion. No one spared a single glance his way. Magnus released with a slight shock that it would probably be because they would be used to seeing him here. With Alec or with one of his siblings talking and laughing. He smiled sadly at that before walking towards the exit. He walked down the Instuites steps before entering into the night.

Alec felt his phone vibrate and quickly unlocked it hoping to find a text from Magnus. He felt a tinged of disappointment when he realized it was Maryse telling him about the meeting that would be taking place later today about Sebastion. He sighed as his thumb hovered over the off button as his eyes flicked towards the galley app. He clicked on the app and his phone became flooded with pictures of him and Magnus. His eyes wandered over the many pictures of him and Magnus smiling together and laughing. Some of the photos were taken at unexpected moments which had turned out to be Alec’s favorites. Something about Magnus never failed to leave Alec with a loving feeling. 

Alec sniffed as he released his emotions were quickly coming back after he had blocked them out. He tried hard to keep them at bay but Alec couldn’t keep it in anymore. Once the first tear broke free, the rest quickly followed in an unbroken stream. He dropped his phone and clenched his hair in his hands as sobs racked through his body. Alec’s defenses were washed away by salty tears as he became overwhelmed by his emotions. He was such a fool. He had let the best thing that had ever come into his life leave him and he hadn’t done anything to stop it. His sobs filled the room as he let his sadness engulf him. He would allow himself to cry tonight and then tomorrow… well, he didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. He didn’t know.

Back at his loft, Magnus’ wasn’t doing much better. Music was softly filling the room as he stood on the balcony overlooking the city. Magnus thought about how he had shut his heart off from anyone and had built his walls up high. He promised himself over and over that he wasn’t going to fall for anyone. He couldn’t help but think back to what Ragnor had said to him; ‘Someday someone will come along and break down those walls you’ve built around your heart.’ Alec had walked into his life and broke down all the walls like Ragnor had said and he had shown him that he was more than the High Warlock of Brooklyn. 

The fact that he had managed to break them down so easily still scared Magnus but he was glad he did. Magnus’ sighed as he twirled around the glass of whiskey he was currently nursing. The look of hope which was plastered on Alec’s face when he had said ‘I love you too’ which came crashing down when he continued to talk about how he had to choose between his people and Alec broke his heart. Magnus hated how he had to choose when he wanted nothing more to hug Alec and tell him he would always choose him. 

But Magnus knew he couldn’t have what he wanted. Not this time.

_No more wide eyes_   
_I can’t pretend_   
_I can’t pretend_  
_No morning cries_   
_I can’t pretend it’s not the end_   



End file.
